Some Common Reasons Why Women Dump Men

Many times when men get dumped by women they hardly understand the reasons why they got dumped especially when they have believed that their relationship is going great. It is not always easy to understand and may leave one wondering what went wrong. Understanding the reasons can be the key to patching things up and getting back together or even avoiding breaking up in the first place.

Many times when men get dumped by women they hardly understand the reasons why they got dumped especially when they have believed that their relationship is going great. It is not always easy to understand and may leave one wondering what went wrong. Understanding the reasons can be the key to patching things up and getting back together or even avoiding breaking up in the first place. There can be several reasons why women dump men. Some of them can be

* One of the top most reasons why she did so can be because you cheated behind her back. No women wish to have a cheating spouse or lover.
* Many women do not like their partners to be control freaks or opinionated. It is only natural for a woman to retaliate sooner or later.
* Arguments may happen between couples but if you are not willing to sit down and discuss the issues and resolve it then the relationship is bound to end. Communication is the key for any relationship.
* She dumped you because you do not give her space and let her make her own decisions. You sulk when she tells you that she has plans to go out with her friends and is overly possessive. She may also dump you if you are not around her when she wants you and you do not have time for her.
* Trust is an important part of any relationship. When you are overly suspicious and do not trust her then you have given obvious reasons for her to leave you.
* You have not been polite and respectful to your woman and never appreciated her.Woman want their men to treat her like a lady. You are cocky and arrogant and always put him first. You are abusive and inattentive to a woman’s needs. Lack of appreciation can be one main reason why women dump men. If they don’t feel appreciated even any expensive gifts won’t make up for it. Women do not like men who take them for granted or treat them like a doormat.
* You are being too critical. Although a little constructive criticism can be good when you constantly keep correcting her on anything and everything it is natural for her to get annoyed with you.
* You do not know not dress or present yourself properly that she feel ashamed to be in your company.
* You are dishonest and secretive causing her to suspect you and then leave you.
* Another popular reason women dump men is because they are judgmental of her, her friends or family. You have to understand that these people are important to her and that she’ll be very defensive about them.
* She just outgrew you. You are too predictable and the excitement and the spark in the relationship are gone. She does not see a potential future with you.
* Women want their men committed and responsible. They want a partner they can count on in the future. If you are taking things too slow she may get annoyed.
* Woman may leave you because you do not have the money. Financial security is a major quality that women look for in a man. Women like to be pampered and kept in comfort and when she does not get it she may break away. However, No women like a guy who treat her like a ‘high maintenance’ project and continually remind her of it.
* You have other priorities. Friends, job and your own family comes before her. No women like to be a poor second to your friends and family.
* She found some one else who is more appreciative and attentive than you are or may be she simply wanted a change; something different and new.
* You may have neglected her in several different ways. Not only sexually but in the daily things that she had to seek the attention elsewhere. You stopped listening. Even though you don’t need to hang on her every word you must be receptive to what she is saying. No women want a man who is not interested in her or care for her. A relationship involves give and take and that means sharing sometimes a bit more than we are used to.
* Every woman wants to feel needed and if you are the independent and macho type who thinks you do not need anybody then you have given a reason for her to move away from you.
* You compare her negatively with your mother.
* You are a gay.
* You are impotent.

The above given are some common reasons why a Women may dump a man and what a women want in their men. But I am sure there can be more, Please feel free to add through comments.

( by Anamika S )


Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex

When it comes to men and sex, I’ve noticed that special requests usually come along the lines of an instant upgrade …
If I’m giving a hand job, they ask for a blowjob, and if I’m giving a blowjob, well, why not full-on sex? That’s simple enough for me to handle if it makes sexytime shine.
 After the jump, we asked a few men—who, let it be known, all said, “Don’t forget to touch our balls!”—to help us out.

1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy, “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself.

2. ... but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing.

3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.)

4. Offering to let him come on your face will make his friggin‘ day. If that’s too porn-y for you, let him come on your chest instead.

5. That slow, gentle, tender sex you’re having? It’s probably for your benefit, not his.

“Guys love the express train 90 percent of the time, so get off the local!”

Maybe just be clear that there should be a fast sex/slow sex balance in the relationship, lest he think you like the jackhammering as much as he does.

6. Men don’t only love penis massages—they love back and shoulder massages, too. Making him come then rolling him over and mounting his butt to administer a back massage is a lovely way to bring on A Post-Coital Man Nap.

7. Wait to hop in the shower and wash all that dirty, dirty sex off.

“Come back to bed after you’re done warding off a UTI in the loo when we’re finished—there’s nothing like savoring the moment.”

  Aww, they get lonely when we leave them in bed by themselves!

8. Boys have nipples, too, and sometimes, they can be very sensitive. His junk isn’t the only place he wants you to kiss!

9. Assume your guy’s anus is feeling neglected, too.

“Don’t forget that some guys like a pinkie in the ass.”

He just might be too embarrassed to ask for it, so let your fingers wander and see what happens.

10. Get out of the bedroom.

“Women forget to have sex anywhere other than in bed without guidance.”

I think this means he likes to do it in the shower?

(courtesy: Jessica Wakeman of TheFrisky)

Natural Beauty Secrets - Feel Good Naked

How confident are you when it comes to being naked? Sadly, a lot of women agonise about their bodies and revealing all can be a traumatic experience. If you are looking for tips, tricks and beauty secrets to help you make the most of your natural beauty and feel good naked, you've come to the right place.

Number one of all the beauty secrets is this, if you want to feel good naked you must be happy in your own skin.

To help you achieve this, look after your skin to bring out its natural beauty. Exfoliate regularly to remove dead skin cells and give your circulation a boost, this will encourage new skin cells at the same time. Encouraging new skin cells will give your skin a younger, fresher look.

Always moisturise using a good moisturiser and pay special attention to dry areas such as elbows, knees and feet. Take your time and massage the moisturiser right into your skin. Massaging not only helps your circulation it also helps to smooth out bumps and wrinkles and will enhance your natural beauty. Olive oil, an old-fashioned beauty secret, will give your skin a luxurious look as well as making it soft and supple to touch. As the surface of your skin improves and you get to know your body better you will begin to feel good naked.

Remove unsightly hairs from your legs, under your arms and tidy up your bikini line, or go the whole hog and go for a Brazilian wax.

You probably already know that eating a balanced diet to maintain healthy skin from the inside will benefit your natural beauty. Oily fish and vegetables will do wonders for your nails, hair and teeth as well as providing fish oils and vitamins for your skin and is a beauty secret worth knowing.

Your hair is your crowning glory especially if you want to feel good naked, have it trimmed regularly and keep it clean, well conditioned and healthy.

A quick fix beauty secret to feel good naked is to decide which your best asset is and show it off to the best advantage. Stand naked in front of a tall mirror and take a good, long look at yourself.

Standing straight on is not always the best pose, experiment by turning slowly and watching how your contours change. Standing side on can be a lot more flattering and compliment your natural beauty. Stand up straight and lift your sternum (breastbone) arch your back slightly so that your bottom sticks out a little bit but not too much.

You can make yourself look slimmer by stretching your body into a bow shape and being careful not to stoop or scrunch yourself up. Or stand slightly side on to the mirror placing one leg in front of the other; this will give you a very sexy shapely outline indeed.

Or try lying on your stomach propped up by your elbows, this accentuates the curve of your back and the shape of your breasts and at the same time minimises your stomach.

The idea behind the above beauty secrets is to create an illusion, flatter your natural beauty and help you to feel good naked.

A good tip is to spend as much time as you can actually being naked, this will get you used to seeing yourself naked and the more you see yourself naked, the more being naked will feel natural to you.

Remember to stand up straight and stretch your body to make yourself look slimmer. It also helps if you master the art of walking by placing one foot in front of the other, as though you are walking a tight rope, and swing your legs from the hips. I've found this looks extremely elegant and it will do wonders for your confidence.

Another good beauty secret is to go for soft lighting, such as candles, tea lights or softly coloured light bulbs if you haven't got a dimmer switch, and make sure the lighting is behind you. This not only has a slimming effect - it will also help to soften your outline and give you a sexy glow.

A soft glow rather than harsh lighting will give your skin an even tone and minimise the appearance of any blemishes.

One of the best beauty secrets I know is taking regular exercise to help keep your body toned and supple, a thirty-minute walk three times a week will pay many benefits. Walk at a speed that gets your heart rate up, this will oxygenate your blood and improve your skin, as well as your muscles and heart. Don't walk so fast that you can't have a conversation at the same time.

A toned and balanced body is extremely beautiful and will make you look and feel good naked, and you don’t need an hourglass figure to achieve this. Add quality to your movements with muscles that are long and toned and you will appear more balanced and beautiful.

Finally, the best way to feel good naked is to have confidence in yourself. If you don't feel it, fake it until you do. Get to know your own body and accept yourself for who you are and how you look.

We are all individuals and there are no set rules for everyone. Watch other women and notice how they move, what looks good and what doesn't. You can learn a lot by watching others.

Someone who is happy in her own skin and behaves in a confident manner is extremely attractive and sexy, regardless of her body shape.

How you feel about yourself is what really counts because this will show in your eyes and natural beauty will radiate from you.

Relax and enjoy yourself - love the way you look - if you do then the person in your life will too.

How The Power of Forgiveness Can Help You Transform Sorrow Into Sweetness

When we consider how someone could behave in ways that create anguish for us, it is useful to recognize that their choices reflect the story they’ve been living. More often than not, it is because, given their existing level of awareness, they were unable to entertain other options to get their needs met in ways that wouldn’t create pain for another.

We are, of course, responsible for our choices, and there are abundant examples of people who, despite growing up in environments of abuse or deprivation, go on to live magnificent lives of service and compassion. Our past does not have to define our future. Still, understanding the experiences of others helps us move towards forgiveness, which is necessary if we are to fully heal and be free to love.

Creating a Story of Understanding
Consider a person in your life whom you associate with painful feelings. It might be an ex-spouse, an offensive boss, an abusive stepparent, or a best friend who betrayed your trust. For the purpose of freeing your heart from the constriction caused by resentment, shift your focus from what happened to you to what was happening in the life of the person who caused your pain and begin constructing their biography. The goal is to understand how the person who caused you pain could do what they did. Write the details you’re aware of and then fill in the blanks using your imagination. Here are some questions that can help you with this step:
    1. What do you know or imagine about the emotional and physical health of their parents or caregivers?

    2. Was the individual who caused you pain planned and wanted by their parents?

    3. How was this person treated as a baby and young child?

    4. How did their family members and peers relate to them?
Take your time to construct a biography that helps you understand how this person became someone who was capable of doing the things that have caused you (and most likely others) pain.

Intentions into Actions
You gained some insight into the behavior of the person who caused you pain and now you are ready for the next step. For a few minutes, perform a set of heart-opening yoga poses and breathing exercises to center yourself. Now close your eyes and ask yourself this question:
What can I do to forgive this person for the pain I’ve experienced as a result of their words or actions?
The emphasis is on what you can do, not on what you want or expect the offender to do. You have no control over the other person’s choices, and therefore your heart’s freedom cannot be dependent upon their actions.
Possibilities include writing a letter, burying a memento in the ground, burning a token object that you associate with the person, starting an organization that helps others avoid or recover from similar trespasses, or writing an article or book that documents your experience for the benefit of others. The scale of the action doesn’t matter; what’s important is that you do something that demonstrates your willingness to forgive and move forward.

Since you are a human being, the chances are good that sometime during your life, other people have experienced emotional pain as a result of choices you have made. Recognizing your own capacity to act in ways that may have caused harm to another, can help you relinquish judgment and awaken forgiveness.
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and settle yourself in your heart. Now bring into your awareness something that you have said or done that clearly generated anguish or distress for someone else. Consider the context of your life at the time you engaged in the pain-provoking behavior. Bring the details of the story into your awareness, noticing the important choices you made that ultimately led to pain for someone else. 
Take some time to journal the story, describing what happened, the consequences of your actions, and the feelings that were generated in both the people who were hurt and in you. Now close your eyes again, settle your awareness into your heart, and ask yourself this question: What am I prepared to do to enable me to forgive myself for my actions that caused pain to another person?

Doing Our Best
It is not uncommon for people to be more willing to forgive others than they are to forgive themselves. Self-recrimination, remorse, and regret may be helpful for a time to focus your attention on behaviors that had hurtful consequences, but life is too short to carry the pain indefinitely.

Confession Frees the Heart
For this step, you will once again need a listening partner, someone you can trust with your story of something you did that caused pain for another person. Ask your partner to listen to you without interrupting. Share what you are committed to doing to generate restitution for your offense. When you are finished, ask your partner to say these words to you:
  1. I am sorry for the pain you caused.
  2. I’m sure you were doing your best from your level of consciousness at the time.
  3. Assuming you honor your commitment to make amends, you deserve to be forgiven.
During workshops, I ask participants to confess their story to several different people, until they are tired of telling it and the emotional charge has been dissipated. The process usually requires several repetitions, so see if you can share your story with at least three different people you trust. Each time, make your pledge to do something that demonstrates your commitment to repair the damage (to the extent possible), and ask each person to say the same words to you as above.
If you don’t have someone with whom you’d feel safe sharing your story, you can do a vision process to achieve a similar benefit. You can find instructions for the vision process here.

Up in Smoke
The next step in the healing process is a ritual based on the transformative power of agni. In the ayurvedic tradition, agni is the digestive fire that processes everything we ingest in our life, including our food, sensory impressions, and experiences.
You will need a safe place where you can light a fire, such as an outdoor fire pit or an indoor fireplace. First take your list of painful memories and toxic traits which you created in Chapter 6. Add to it a few words that represent the personal transgression or oversight you just identified. Once you’ve completed your list, start a fire and offer your list to the transformational flames of agni. At Chopra Center workshops, we build a campfire and invite each participant to release their inventory of painful experiences and traits into the fire. Then we roast marshmallows and make “smores” with chocolate and graham crackers. The symbolism is simple: We have the capacity – you have the capacity – to transform sorrow into sweetness.

Get Ready for The Next Chapter
Through the sacred work you have completed, you have released the emergency brake on your heart that has been limiting your capacity for love and healing. You are now ready to decide where and how you wish to move forward, creating a mind and body that expresses and celebrates your new insights and understandings. In the next couple of weeks, we will look at how we react to the people in our lives and how we can respond more consciously to create the love we deserve.
(courtesy Diva Village)

Slow Sex is Better

Slow Sex is Better Like a bottle of fine wine, like great taste great sex takes time.

You're fit and strong, bed your girl fast and hard, just the way she dosen't like it. Get going with her the way she LOVES it. Read on to understand.

1. Just because a woman is wet, that doesn't mean she's near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she's ready sooner, you'll know it.

2. Synchronicity is overrated. We girls don't care when we have an orgasm—as long as we get one. The longer you stimulate us—and the slower you take things—the more likely that becomes.

3. Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play—any kind of play—make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.

1. Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It's called a "refractory period," and there's little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that's it—end of show.

2. Sex is better than Tylenol. According to Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., a porn star/prostitute turned sexed educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.

3. Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally climax.

1. Do reps. According to the sex therapist Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., the stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you'll last during sex. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to stop urinating for two seconds ag-spotnd release. Repeat 20-60 times daily.

2. Take deep breathes during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you're ready.

3. While women just have one G spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head. That's why it's important to alternate between long and short strokes. You'll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might other wise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.

Practice slow groove and you will realize what women have known for years—slow sex is better.
- courtesy Belisa Vranich, Psy.D, MensFitness


10 Tips Good Pillow Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars

Whether you hate that your guy watches porn or opt to watch it with him, you always wonder about one thing: the mystique of the porn star. She's everything a good girl doesn't want to be — except in the bedroom.

Wish you could mesmerize your man like his favorite video vixen? Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was a Liar, has compiled a cheat sheet of porn babes' best-kept secrets.

Once you know what they know, you can try the tricks at home — no overprocessed hair or camcorder required. Your man will be putty in your hands, but the biggest payoff? You will end up more satisfied in the process!

1. Show a Little Enthusiasm!

Good Girl Approach: Many of us have been taught that sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango, you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.

Porn Babe Secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation — and they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching television.

Tantalizing Tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be with him.

2. Speak Up!

Good Girl Approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will make you seem like a tramp.

Porn Babe Secret: Toss the dated worries — liking sex doesn't make you a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that special spot, or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment! Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.

Tantalizing Tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to offend you.

3. Know Thyself!

Good Girl Approach: You find masturbation embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you do).

Porn Babe Secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map!

Tantalizing Tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy. After a few solo sessions bring your man into the action for a steamy one-on-one lesson.

4. Love Those Thighs!

Good Girl Approach: You hate your hips, your backside is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.

Porn Babe Secret: They know that men love sex — he's absolutely thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body insecurity or two.

Tantalizing Tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections. Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes!

5. Get a New Bedtime Script!

Good Girl Approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much racier than a few "oh, baby's" tossed in with a few "you feel so good's."

Porn Babe Secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make him explode.

Tantalizing Tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here] you?"

6. Get a Little Uncomfortable!

Good Girl Approach: Your weekend look of sweats and ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.

Porn Babe Secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in business!). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the experience.

Tantalizing Tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants, or meet him at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as well as his, um, interest.

7. Get Creative with the Merchandise!

Good Girl Approach: You have an idea of what works for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…

Porn Babe Secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons — from his toes to the back of his neck — and that half the fun is finding out what works and what doesn't.

Tantalizing Tip: Gently pinch or bite his ******s or kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below-the-belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his penis and his anus).

8. Be a Little Selfish!

Good Girl Approach: You're tired and overworked, and you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take that Spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister (again).

Porn Babe Secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn babes make self-maintenance a high priority.

Tantalizing Tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only boost your confidence, it will make you glow — and that's hotter than any bustier on the market.

9. Come On, Gals, Fantasize!

Good Girl Approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do — and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is enough to bring you to tears.

Porn Babe Secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is healthy aspect of sexuality.

Tantalizing Tip: Try verbal exploration! Talk him through a threesome or ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not only spark amazing sex, but they will also build trust and intimacy, which is always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios), and remember, comfort is key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Stop Doing Favors!

Good Girl Approach: You perform oral sex as a "gift" for whatever special day, or tell him that if he's good, you'll let him try a new position.

Porn Babe Secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.

Tantalizing Tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to give him a blow job — your turning him on is.


12 Secrets to Better Orgasms

1. Hit the hot spots.

A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt. You may even want to try using a vibrator during intercourse, says Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She recommends the Athena ($11.95) the Aurora ($46.95).

2. Talk the talk.
“Men really want direction,” Berman says. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.

3. Learn on your own.
You can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. “To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate,” says Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach with sex information company Sexuality Source.

4. Exercise your orgasm muscles.
“Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones,” sex educator Dorian Solot says. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels every day, ideally a few times a day. And keep breathing while you squeeze.

5. Get risky.
Research shows that engaging in thrill-seeking behaviors together (whether it’s rock climbing or just going to see a scary movie) stimulates dopamine in the brain, which gets your juices flowing.

6. Delay the pleasure.
“The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion,” Solot says. Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax.

7. Focus on breathing.
Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. “You can use your breath to channel your sexual energy,” sex educator Yvonne Fulbright says. Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure.

8. Explore erotica.
Porn isn’t all about big penises and deep throats. Erotic movies and books can be tasteful and arousing, and the more aroused you are, the better your orgasm chances. Berman and Fulbright suggest the Candida Royale films ($9.95 and up); the sex scenes are steamy, and there’s a plot. Berman also recommends literature like the Herotica series, in which women are the lead characters.

9. Try creative foreplay.
If it takes you longer than your partner to warm up, Fulbright says, get a head start by e-mailing or texting each other sexy messages (but don’t get too graphic—e-mail is not necessarily private).

10. Check your meds.
Women are more likely than men to take anti-depressants, which are known to hurt a person’s sex life. If you’re having trouble, talk to your doctor about your meds.

11. Get help early.
If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful. Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem. “Your doctor can do a medical evaluation,” Berman says, “or look at relationship factors.” To find a sex therapist, check with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

12. Relax.
In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70 percent said work stress compromised their sex drive. A low libido, obviously, lowers chances of orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door.

courtesy Kara Jesella


How To Touch a Woman to Drive Her Wild (Sexuality Tips for Men)

Obviously, everything about great sex involves touching. Really mastering the subtleties of touching is one of the best ways to really explode a woman's ideas of just how amazing sex can be. The thing that I really love about the "idea" of touching a girl, is that the sensation travels in both directions. She gets the pleasure of feeling your hands on her skin, and you get the pleasure of feeling her skin with your hands. And when you are both really in tune with that exchange of pleasure, it can be absolutely awesome.

So what is the best way to touch a woman?

It depends on the woman. I'm going to explain EXACTLY what you need to know to figure it out for your woman.

There are a few important keys to touching that can let her know, INSTANTLY that you know exactly what you are doing-- and get her powerfully aroused.

The first thing you should know, if you don't already, is that women LOVE to be touched. Touch is very important to all humans, but it is, generally, much more important to women, and they respond very strongly to touch. It is a powerful reward to a woman when you touch her, and it can instantly make her feel great. how to touch a woman

Now, of course, some women are more reserved about it...some are more formal and are not comfortable feeling such good feelings with someone until they know them well. Some women are just closed off and don't like anyone to enter their space, and even in a relationship, they resist having another person touch them so easily...And some women simply do not like being touched. They find it unpleasant and they recoil from it. But the truth is, women in those last two categories (ABSOLUTELY those in the last one) have had some trauma in their lives, probably child sexual abuse, that has damaged them to the extent that they can't accept this natural and beautiful form of shared pleasure. That's a sad truth of the world.

For the other women, depending on their degree of shyness, touch is always a pleasure and a treat...assuming they like the guy that is touching them, and it's appropriate to the relationship. By appropriate, I mean, a female friend might love it if you rub her shoulders, but might be uncomfortable with something more "romantic," like caressing her hair and cheek.

I am going to talk about touching in a romantic context, whether it be on a first date or with your wife of 20 years. And I'm not talking about directly sexual touching.

Sensual touching is an art that you should definitely spend some time mastering -- because it will be incredibly rewarding to both you and the woman in your life.

  1. Touch her more. However much you are already touching your girlfriend, wife, or can do it more often. I can't emphasize enough how much of an emotional connection and bond can be formed by this simple action. Women link many feelings of sexuality,love, and trust with the sensations that are aroused in them when a man puts his hands on her.

    It can make her feel both sexually excited and safe at the same time. It can also make her body release certain chemicals into her blood that make her feel more attraction to and more comfort with the man that she is with.

    How's that for the simplest tip ever?

    Try it out. I promise that it is as effective as it is simple.

  2. Look into her eyes. Well, here's one that's even more simple...but's so much more powerful than it sounds. When you are putting your hand on her, whether you are caressing or squeezing...or petting or holding or any other kind of touching...Look into her eyes as you are doing it.

    You will find that if you hold eye contact with a woman -- even if she looks down for a moment -- she will be drawn into your gaze and that you can hold her there. This will add an amazing amount of emotional intensity to your touch. She will feel it deeply in her body.

    You may think, heck, I already look at her when I touch her...But just try this -- try being aware of intentionally holding her eye contact as you touch her.

    I think you will find that it makes a very big difference.

  3. Try touching her in new ways. There are particular types of touching that women find more romantic, more sensual, and more arousing than others. And, of course, since all women are different, you're going to have to do some experimenting to find out what the woman in your life responds to most. The key is to really tune in to her and notice how she is responding. That tuning in or "Paying Attention" that I always talk about, is actually the really important part of this tip...

    But here are a few ways you should try touching her -- most women respond very positively towards ALL of them.

    Pay attention to see which ones your girl goes for:

    • Use the very tips of your fingers and run them very, very lightly, so that it is almost a tickle, anywhere (or everywhere) on her skin.
    • Stroke her gently, but not tentatively with the entire face of your hand. Try running it up her back, her neck, her legs, arms, or the side of her face.
    • Just hold her firmly. This can be such a powerful feeling for a woman. Just place your hand on her shoulder, the back of her neck, her thigh, arm, or hand...and just hold her. Let her feel your masculine strength, but don't, obviously, hurt her. If you do this right, she should feel the tenderness and protectiveness behind your touch.
    • Cup her with your hand, and stroke gently with your thumb...This combines the first idea of gentle finger tips with the last one of holding her firmly...

      I particularly like to hold the back of her neck and then gently stroke her cheek with my thumb...while looking into her eyes. Also try holding the back of her head and stroking her temple, or hold her arm and stroke her shoulder, or her thigh and stroke her knee.

      Add eye contact to all of these and she will melt.

    • Pet her hair. I have never met a woman who does not enjoy having her hair stroked. For girls with straight hair, you can let your fingers run through it. If she has curly hair, just pet, so that you don't get stuck and start yanking on her knots!

      To really send her into orbit, start at her neck and use your fingers to pet upwards into her hair along her scalp. You can bring a woman very close to orgasm with this one.

  4. Tip #4: Feel With Your Feelings. I saved the best one for last...but it is also the one that is most complicated to explain, and can be more challenging for some men to master. That's because, as guys, we're just not as "in touch with our feelings" as women are. But this is of HUGE importance if you really want to rock her world in ways that will make her forget any other guy she has ever been with.

    The basic truth is: A woman can FEEL, not just the physical sensation of your hand on her skin, but also she can FEEL the emotional content of your touch.

    I know this sounds a little bit "out there," but again, as always, I challenge you to TRY it before you dismiss it because this is really an incredibly powerful truth. When you touch a woman while thinking sexual thoughts about her, and when you focus that intent into your touch, she will FEEL it very strongly... and her body will respond to it. That sexual energy will flow from you and into her.

    Likewise, when you feel tender feelings of attraction and protectiveness for your woman, and you stroke her hair, it makes her feel loved and safe. And there is nothing that will provide you both with a more amazing night of mind-melting sex than when the woman in your arms feels loved and safe.

I know that I'm leaving a lot out here, and that, especially this last tip is kind of hard to wrap your brain around. The truth is, that this issue of touching with emotion is part of a MUCH bigger picture of understanding women and female sexuality, and just too big a topic for this article.

However, don't hesitate to get started by using the great tips above. You will be amazed that even these brain-dead simple tips
can make a huge difference in how women respond to you sexually.

If you are in a relationship, you will be even more amazed at the positive changes that just a tiny bit of information can cause. You can go to a marriage counselor, or talk to a therapist, or read books on "communicating" better, but there is NOTHING in my experience that improves a relationship more or strengthens the bond between a man and a woman than touch and sex.

courtesy: Alexander Allman


Understanding Her Sexual Body Language

When you're in bed with a woman, do you ever get the feeling that she's uncomfortable or that something is amiss? Are you able to read your girl's body language?
Well, you might be right -- there might be something she is telling you. Check out these body language movements and reactions that likely mean that something is up with your girl. If you are able to confront these issues, you may be able to eliminate the sexual party pooper that is dwelling in your girl.

She won't look at you

If she lets you get inside her but won't even look up at you, something is definitely up. And not in a good way. If every time you lean in to kiss her, she turns her face and doesn't open her eyes, there is definitely a problem.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she's shy and isn't very experienced in bed. If she won't let your mouth get anywhere near hers, you might have bad breath, she might have bad breath, your facial hair might be scraping her face or, if you went down on her, she might find it "distasteful" to kiss afterwards.

Fix it: The next time you're having sex, pull out and make your way to her face; in a soap opera-romance way, gently hold her head in your hands and kiss her like Casanova. If you feel like she wants to pull away, let her and ask her what the deal is. The only way to figure out why she's reacting that way is by asking.

Her expressions are stoic

If you're giving the session your all and she's staring into space or focusing all her attention on the ceiling, something has got to give.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she doesn't like sex much. As well, she might want to be engaging in some other sex act and is afraid to tell you about it. Maybe she feels like a caged animal and wants to be on top or maybe you're not giving her enough room to maneuver.

Fix it: Put her on top and tell her you want to watch her move. Or, when you're not having sex, ask her about her sexual fantasies; maybe that'll help you get to the bottom of her body language behavior.

She doesn't move

You're pulling out all the stops; you're going down, coming up, licking, kissing, biting, rubbing, and all that good stuff. And she just lies there -- like a corpse.

Possible reasons: She may not like sex. Or she may not like having it with you. Or worse, she might think that all she's actually required to do is be present. As hard as it may be to believe, there are women who think that lying there amounts to participation. Sad perspective, isn't it?

Fix it: You have to say something. Ask her if she feels desired by your actions; if she says she does, then tell her you would like to feel that way too. If you're too shy to communicate verbally about this ordeal, then tell her that you'd like to role-play and switch positions. Let her be you and you be her. Her body language will almost certainly change. Problem solved -- orgasms for everyone.

She acts like a guy

Okay, so this might be a gross generalization, but she might do things like orgasm and want to come to a screeching halt and not let you touch her after it's over or forego foreplay entirely.

Possible reasons: I don't see the problem... Just kidding. Everyone has differing desires when it comes to the realm of sex, so rather than judge her, find out what's behind the behavior. She may prefer straight-up sex with no frills or she may simply place more importance on her own orgasm than on yours.

Fix it: If you want foreplay, then seduce her. If you want to ensure that you orgasm as well, ask her if she's satisfied; if she says yes, then tell her you want to feel just as good as she does.

She hides her body

So, your girl is acting like a nun and won't get naked in front of you. As much as you want to enjoy her body visually, she leaves the room by slowly backing out. Or, she needs to have all the lights off when you have sex and the blankets need to be covering her. Let's break that habit.

Possible reasons: Well, there's no doubt that she's insecure about her body, and she thinks you might get turned off if you see all her flaws.

Fix it: Show her that even though you have flaws, you know that she loves you anyway -- but don't point your flaws. Perhaps the most important thing is to tell her that you think she's beautiful and that you appreciate her body. It could take time a repetition on your part to break down those walls that she has constructed, but it'll be worth it once you do.

She never reciprocates

You go down on her and take your time, making sure to please her in every way possible, but she never goes down on you. You seduce her constantly, doing your best to turn her on and make her enjoy the sex, and yet she never comes on to you or initiates sex.

Possible reasons: First, it's possible she thinks that it's your responsibility to turn her on, and not the other way around. Second, some women think that guys get turned on just by seeing a girl, so therefore she doesn't really have to come on to you. Oddly enough, some women even think that being "aggressive" is unladylike and could turn a guy off.

Fix it: Tell her that you love receiving oral sex and you fantasize about how great she would be at it. Tell her that it's important for you to feel desired and that she can show you by coming onto you every now and again. That ought to do it -- empathy is a great thing.

make it work

Sex as you must know by now (because I've written about it ad nauseam) is just as important as trust, love and all that other good stuff. If you and your girl aren't on the same sexual wavelength, chances are things aren't going to suddenly change.
Dare to discuss it. Ask her what she thinks about sex, how important it is to her, and how often she'd like to engage in it. If her responses are way off from what you'd expect, then you might want to reconsider opting to spend the majority of your time with her.


Boost your sex drive with aroma therapy

Ever wondered why Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love and Sensuality, used rose petals in her love den? Why Kamasutra heralds the use of itars and scents? Or for that matter, why our ancient Vedas dedicate the entire Vajrakaran Tantra to the use of aromatic oils?

Well, the reason is a little complicated and lies in one of our six senses!

“Our sense of smell stimulates the nerve endings of the olfactory bulb, which lies at the back of the nose, which in turn stimulates a part of the brain called the limbic system that triggers our libido,” explains aroma therapist.
“The essential oils do magic and stimulate the pituitary gland, the master of endocrine gland, which controls hormone production. Inactiveness of pituitary gland can lead to low sex drive. So, the oils help keep it in an active state,” tells Aromatherapist.

Well, it seems Aphrodite and Vatsyayan had cracked the secret way back. Now you know why she’s the Goddess of love and he India’s eternal sex guru!

So, if your libido is letting you down, it’s time to treat yourself to some sweet smells to get back in action.

Aromatherapy oils are a sensual way to fire up the libido. The molecules of oils are so small that they can mingle in the bloodstream rapidly and are carried to all parts of the body. Natural scents present in aroma oils bear a key importance when it comes to sexual attraction. Some scents are overpoweringly arousing aphrodisiacs for women while other are good enough to bewitch even the most sober of men. You just need to try to believe in the power of the “secret” bedroom helpers that these oils are.

Among the many aromatic oils that have been reputed to have aphrodisiac qualities are the sweet flavors of cinnamon, bergamot, cedarwood, chocolate, vanilla, lavender, roses and patchouli.

Ylang Ylang
Sexual prowess : Considered as one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs, ylang ylang increases libido and attraction between lovers. It energises you, intensifies eroticism and is good for sexual experimentation.
Wanna try? Just place a cotton bud dipped in ylang ylang near your bed and witness its magic! (Yes, just one drop of ylan ylang is enough!)
Caution: Do not use too much of it, for it takes you into a state of euphoria and can cause headache and nausea.

Rose otto
Sexual prowess : The oil works best for females, especially when it comes to balancing the hormones. It has a tonic effect on the reproductive organs, and can work best to boost sexuality.
Wanna try? Go ahead, pamper her. Give her a soothing love massage...

Sexual prowess: Jasmine lifts the mood and adds into the energy levels. Traditionally, it is used to combat frigidity, impotence and premature ejaculation, thanks to its powerful erogenous effect.
Wanna try? Blend it with sandalwood, citrus oils and rose and go for an odorous bath. Caution: Women are advised not to use jasmine oil during pregnancy.

Sexual prowess: It’s a powerful aphrodisiac that works best to make up for a sensuous seduction act and some naughty flirting. It is used to combat frigidity and increase libido particularly in women.
Wanna try? Just a drop or two in a diffuser is enough to set the mood for a perfect night.

Sexual prowess : Lavender increases blood flow to genitals and enhances female sensitivity.
Wanna try? How about arranging a sensuous bath tonight? A hot bath, a few candles, some flowers, a drop or two of lavender oil is enough to get you going...

Sexual prowess : It works wonders for men. The sweet, woody exotic scent enhances physical sensuality and makes lovers more sexually-liberated. Considered a sexual restorative, it induces a state of calmness and serenity and relieves nervous tension.
Wanna try? How about giving him a real close massage? You can mix sandalwood with 3 tablespoons of almond oil. Also, when combined with black pepper oil it can give a boost to a man’s vigour.

Orange blossom
Sexual prowess: It helps the timid and shy first timers to open up and explore the unexplored. Awakens the senses!
Wanna try? Put a few drops of the oil near the candle wick and let the flame ignite the spark of passion in you too!

“Smell has the power to bring back memories, so never use oil which brings back bad memories associated with it to you or your partner,” suggests renowned aroma therapist.

Aroma therapists advise that “essential oils are very powerful, so don’t go overboard while using them. Excess usage can have sedative and anesthetic effects too. While using them in massage, first dilute them in carrier oils like sweet almond, jojoba, sunflower or olive, as they are too powerful in their full strength. In particular, if you don’t like a smell, simply avoid it. There’s a whole world of aroma’s waiting to be experienced...pick one that turns you on and have fun.”